Fix Her Crown

Have you ever felt left out? Like you didn't belong? Maybe your not good enough? Smart enough? Creative enough? This list could go on forever... Don't let it!

I've had several discussions over the last few weeks with friends struggling with their daughters being picked on by other girls at school, dance, team events and even church. This made me start to think about not only these young girls but grown women who treat each other like they don't exist or are just plain ignorant to them. They gossip about them when they don't know the facts. "Forget" to invite certain friends to lunch when the rest of the friend group receives the text message to meet a specified location at a set time.

Why? Why do women feel the need to be mean and hurtful to each other? Is it because they are insecure about themselves? Jealous? Maybe they are just a mean person who always needs drama in their life to even have a reason to get out of bed. How terribly sad for them!

I've had several of my own experiences where I have been left out, talked about, made fun of and mocked. Some of these times were at some of the lowest periods in my life when I really needed a true friend. Someone who had my back! Someone who stood up for me!

When I was going through my divorce there were rumors racing around my very own neighborhood, started by someone I thought was my friend. I've had women who I thought were my friends make plans and leave me out. Was it on purpose or am I just that forgettable that I was overlooked? I have a hard time trusting women because I've been hurt so deeply in the past. I don't think I'm alone. I don't make friends easily. I'm guarded!

I specifically remember walking into church the Sunday after my soon to be a divorced woman became public info. As I looked around the room for a place to sit I noticed the looks of pity, the whispering among women I thought were my friends (I was always taught whispering is rude) and the looks of "please don't sit by us". Really???? I don't have the plague. I'M GETTING A DIVORCE! I'm not the first and I won't be the last. And you know what, I could really use a friend. A true blue girlfriend to talk to so I don't have to go through this alone. Someone who can keep my secrets from my crappy marriage and not ever share them. I had my parents. They were amazing through my divorce but there were specific events in my marriage I couldn't burden my parents with. A close friend would have been a answer to so many prayers. But I didn't fit the mold of the perfect wife, the perfect mother, with the perfect little children running around in their perfect little homes. I was a soon to be divorced woman who's husband had cheated on her for years with multiple women, who chose to pay for porn online and gamble instead of pay our household bills.......I was the only one this was a secret to, with the exception of the affairs. Yes, I knew! It was humiliating and I thought it was a secret I was keeping. Jokes on me!

True friendship is so powerful!

I have a handful of women in my life that I adore. They are my Tribe!

I have a friend from my old neighborhood who took the time to build me up, give me encouragement and the support I needed when life was pretty rough. We walked daily and talked about life, kids, health. She helped me to not be so hurt by a group of women who thought my life was a joke and needed to share it with each other regularly. She helped me to get past all the tears and anger I felt towards this group of "friends". For this particular friend I will always be grateful for her kindness! Today she is a Successful Life Coach. I'm so grateful for her being my personal life coach many years ago when I couldn't have felt more alone. Love her dearly

I've got my BFF in my hometown that I don't talk to as often as I would like but when I do It's like we talked earlier in the day. She's my go to girl. I love Her with all my heart. I knew the day I met her we would be friends. She was by my side in some of my darkest moments and I am forever grateful for her wisdom, intuition, and knowing exactly what I needed sometimes before I did. She's a big part of the reason I'm with the amazing man I'm married to today. She was so genuine, and I love that about her. We spent a lot of time sitting at Starbucks talking about life, dating and family. I could tell her anything and know I wouldn't be judged. She won't leave me out ever. She won't talk negatively about me and she would never allow me to talk negatively about myself. She's my Soul Sista! She is beyond wise and I love her beyond words. Today she runs a successful breeding business of beautiful cats.

A few months ago I met a new friend and she freaking ROCKS! I felt a instant connection. She made me feel so important, like I can do anything I want to do. She's a BIG part of the reason I started my blog. She encouraged me to tell my story. She's brought me into her circle of friends. They are amazing! I look so forward to our lunches. I feel so connected to a group of women I've known for less than a month. Whoa, this is a new path for me. I have been welcomed with open arms by these amazing, strong, empowered women. I can't thank these women enough for making me feel like I have a group of friends I can lean on. I have my heart recharged every Wednesday when I meet them for lunch. I finally feel like I really belong in a town I've lived in for 8 years. You ladies inspire me and I love seeing their success in business, family and life. They are killing it and they want me to be a part of this amazing group? Whoo-Freaking-Hoo! I just might really belong here.

Can you imagine how amazing life would be if more women put their heart and soul into building each other up, telling each other how Beautiful they are (and be genuine), encouraging each other to be our best. Isn't this what we all want? I love to see people in general be successful, but I absolutely love to see women support other women and be genuinely happy for their success. I also love to see women fix another's crown when it slips a little or sometimes a lot.

My goal going forward is to make every person who crosses my path feel important. I've done this with my business for years and I feel like this is the reason my business has thrived. I haven't done it for only monetary reasons. I've done it because it makes me happy. These women make me happy. These women aren't just my clients they become my friends. Not necessarily friend's I go to paintnite with but still my friend. Some days we have light-hearted conversations and sometimes they are deep. I've cried with many of my client over struggles. I've prayed for my clients who have things going on in their lives that are difficult. I'm a better person because of each of these women I have written about. I want people to walk away from me feeling like they have had their heart recharged. I love the quote, "When you enter a room look around and find the happiest person and sit by them". Be that person that leaves people wanting to spend more time with you.

Any way you look at it mean doesn't look good on anyone. It's just plain UGLY, don't be UGLY!

Be the light in each others life. Build up the women in your life. Make them feel special. Your life will be brighter, healthier and more abundant because you chose to be that person who lifted another woman up and let her know she's amazing!